I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
