you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
