If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
