Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
