When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
