On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You're like the curious george of whores
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
