If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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