i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
