exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
