Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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