You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
