mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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