i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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