I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
