Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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