i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
