took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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