right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
