I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
