can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
