Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
