even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
