He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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