dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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