Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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