he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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