I cannot find my penis.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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