Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
