DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
