I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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