thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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