my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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