My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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