I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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