wat bout pragnant strippers??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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