K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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