This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
