you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
