My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
