Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish you could order shots online.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
