Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
