All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
