Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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