Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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