I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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