I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
