So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
