we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
