Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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