allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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