i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
