can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
