rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
