Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
True strength comes from lack of pants
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
