That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize