i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
