Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
