I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize