i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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