I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
