Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
