Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
