i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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