thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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