U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize