Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
