She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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