dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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