i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
