never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was like eating out sand paper
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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