You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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