please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize