THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
