that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
